Bad parenting can have a lasting consequence in children.
Most parents try to bring up their own blueprint for parenting, which is not right. It is very easy to yell at a child or be harsh with them in our frustration and confusion and it can affect children negatively(1).
There has been an evolution in society and the environment, and the same should be adopted in the parenting style.
What is Bad Parenting?
Bad parenting is a series of actions that can harm a child’s psychology. It is not a single act but a collection of harmful acts that can have harmful effects on the child.
Bad parenting is not an intentional thing in most cases but can leave a negative impact on the child in all cases. It is also observed that many parents are not even aware of the consequences of these actions.
A child requires care and nurturing from you. In a busy lifestyle it may be just easy to tell a child what to do, but always remember a child who craves love and care would have many adverse effects of bad parenting.
Physical abuse, sexual abuse, neglect, and emotional abuse are some very damaging behavior traits of bad parenting and should be immediately addressed with the professional. Other than these serious concerns there are a few things parents may do or say that might affect the child adversely.
Signs Of Bad Parenting
Several actions and incidences can label you as a bad parent.
1. Over and Under Involvement
Uninvolved parenting can be neglectful and fail to respond to the child’s needs such as the basics of shelter, food, and clothing.
Similarly, over-involvement can harm the child by taking control of their decisions and hinder the learning which they can get from doing things themselves(2).
2. Little Or No DisciplineLittle Or No Discipline
Children with little or no discipline leave them fending for themselves that can result in injuries and would lead to a child who does not understand boundaries.
Children always look up to parents to define boundaries and to know what would be the effects if they cross them.
Knowing the consequences they restrict themselves and stay in the discipline.
3. Strict or Hard Discipline
Nothing beyond limits is good too. Just like little or no discipline is not good, being extremely strict and hard on the child can have bad consequences.
This can lead the child to be fearful and anxious and even rebellious(3).
4. Withdrawing Affection And Attention
Ignoring a child and withdrawing attention if they fail to do what they are told, can cause harm.
This leads to low self-esteem and low confidence, resulting in children not expressing their wants and needs.
This further can lead to co-dependency, in which the child adapts to how they feel to how a person wants them to.
Effects of Bad Parenting
Negative or bad parenting can affect the child’s relations, lead to depression, anxiety, and aggression.
The overuse of negative labels and shaming is a big parenting misstep.
Constantly using negative labels can impact the child’s sense of self. This can lead to long-standing self-narratives and self-fulfilling prophecies.
Shame is a powerful word that can paralyze the emotions and deeply embed them in the psyche and sense of self.
Constantly shaming and negative labeling the child internalize and embody these negative messages.
Control Issues And Rebellion
Children who experience overly rigid behavior or very strict discipline can develop anxious behavior and a perception that the world is dangerous.
On the other end, it can also result in a child who is rebellious, and who fights with their parents, breaks rules, and engages themselves in negative behaviors(3).
Emotional and Behavioral Problems
According to a study, yelling, constant hitting, and physical and verbal threats can have a negative consequence on the behavior of the child(1).
The child can have an emotional and behavioral issue such as aggressiveness and not following directions at school.
What Are The Changes That Need To Be Brought?
Parenting is an ongoing and challenging process. If you feel that you are falling into bad parenting habits also know that you are capable of making changes.
Revamping the parenting style would require patience, honesty, and a lot of hard work.
Listen To The Child’s Thoughts And Feelings
All of us want to be heard and want good listeners, so do children.
It is important to hear the child’s concerns and frustration and validate their feelings. It is important to explain to them that it’s right to be angry, but not good to be aggressive. Give them alternatives to display their emotions.
Give Them An Appropriate Alternative
Hitting a child does not tell them anything about the consequences. It instead gives them resentment and anger.
You can reward a child for something they do well. If taking away something, take it for some time, not for a whole long week. Make sure the consequences are suitable for correcting the behavior of the child and not spoiling it further.
Label The Behavior, Not The Child
If a child does something wrong, label the behavior as wrong, not the child.
For example, if a child is acting out, tell him the behavior is that of a bully, do not call him a bully.
Do Not Ignore Them
If you are angry with the child, do not ignore them. It only confuses the child.
Explain your anger and make sure to convey that you still love them, but angry about some behavior of theirs.
Show Love And Affection
Displaying love and affection assures the child that you love them. It can be done by supporting and accepting the child, spending quality time together, and being physically affectionate.
Being a parent is a huge responsibility. Make sure you live it up with love compassion and understanding and raise a happy, confident, and a good human being.
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- What is Mindful Parenting & How Can You Be a Mindful Parent?
- How Do You Deal With Someone With Oppositional Defiant Disorder & Is It Caused By Bad Parenting?