Being a parent of the teenager is not an easy task especially when he or she is depressed, violent, abuses drugs or alcohol or is engaged in reckless behavior. You may be exhausted trying to figure out about the way your kid is behaving and in what company he or she must be in during the evening time. You may be in anguish over your failed attempts to communicate with the child, the open defiance and the endless fights. You may also be living in a fear about your teenager mood swings and violent behavior along with the exploding anger. While parenting a teenager that is troubled may seem like a difficult task, there are steps that can be taken to make him or her feels happy and transition into a young adult who is successful.
Behavior Problems in Teenagers – Dealing with Angry Teenagers
Anger can be a demanding emotion for most teenagers as it masks all the emotions like embarrassment, hurt, sadness, shame, frustration, vulnerability or fear. When teenagers are not able to cope with all such feelings, they may often lash out. This will eventually put all the others at greater risk. Most boys, who are hitting their teenage, find it difficult to express their emotions and even recognizing them. Despite these issues, they never seem to seek help or ask for assistance. The dare for parents is to help the teenager cope with all these behavior problems and manage their anger in a productive way:
- Set up rules and rule-breaking consequences to deal with angry teenagers. At times, when you and your teenager are at peace, try explaining him or her that being angry is not wrong but expressing them in an unacceptable way has its own consequences. If your teenager lashes out, explain him or her about the results or the bad effects that come out from it. Teenagers have to be kept on certain rules at all times.
- Trying to find the reason behind their anger is the best way to deal with angry teen. Is your child going through depression or sadness? Does your child feel that there is some sort of inadequacy regarding the things that you provide him or her? Does your need someone who can hear him without making any judgments?
- Be aware of all the signs as well as triggers of anger so that you can gain in-depth understanding and deal with angry teens. Does your teenager have headaches or start to get worked up before being furious? Do the classes that are held at school trigger the feelings of anger in your teenager? When teenagers are liable of identifying all these signs of warning about their temper reaching the peak, it allows them to take some necessary steps to control the anger before it loses control.
- Help the teenager in finding out healthier ways to get rid of anger. Team sports, exercise or even hitting a punching bag can help in relieving anger and tension to a greater extent. Most teenagers use writing or arts to express their anger in a creative way. Playing or dancing to a loud music can offer relief to the kids in an unusual manner.
- You can deal with an angry teen by allowing them to take some space to set back. When your teenager is angry about something, allow to retreat in a place where he or she can cool off the anger. Do not demand apologies or follow your teenager at such times or you may find that the anger is outrageous. When the anger is escalated, it may provoke them to take some physical actions.
- Try to manage the anger on your own. If you have to take control of your kid while he or she loses it completely, you have to learn managing your anger as well. When you are in a balanced state, it can be easy to bring down your teenagers temper.
Behavior Problems in Teenagers – Red Flags for Destructive Behavior
Warning signs when a teenager can get struck with violence involves:
- Fiddling with weapons of any type
- Zealously playing video games that are violent, watching aggressive movies or being in touch with those websites that promote violence.
- Bullying or threatening others
- Imagining about all those acts that he or she would like to commit when violent
- Being cruel or violent to the pets.
Parenting Tips to Help Teens Tip #1: Connecting with Your Teenager
Regardless the problems that are experienced by your teenager, it does not mean that you have failed in performing your duties as a parent. Rather than trying to blame the present situation, focus on fulfilling the needs of your child. The first attempt to do this is to make a way to connect with your teenager.
You may find it hard to believe after seeing the anger and the indifferences that your child has towards you but they crave acceptance, love and approval from their peers. This means that you have an influence over your kid — a lot more than you have imagined. Try to begin communicating by:
- Being aware of your own stress points is the first step to take before you starting to connect with your teen. If you are upset or angry about something then it is not the right time to begin communicating with your kid. You will have to be calm and feel energized while trying to make a point or begin conversation. You will need immense positive energy and patience.
- Being present for your kid when they require is most essential part for parents to connect with their teenager. Offering to chat with you teenager at the coffee table will be greeted with a dismissive gesture. However, it is important to let them know that you are there for them at all times. Insist them to share a meal together without any distractions of the television and try speaking with your teenager on any matters. Try not to get frustrated if your efforts are just being responded by shrugs or grunts that are monosyllabic. You may have to suffer with the silence for most meals but when your kid wishes to open up, he or she will eventually open up to you.
- Finding a common ground to talk about is one of the most important things a parent must do to connect with a teenager. Try to discuss about the dressing sense of your teenager will surely give rise to a fireball of anger and it may end up as a heated argument. You can still find a common ground to sort out the problems. Sons and fathers can collectively speak about sports and other affairs, daughters and mothers over movies or gossips. The key is to find a common interest and share some nice conversation among yourself. Once you are openly talking to your child, he or she will feel comfortable discussing any matter with you.
- Listening to teenagers without passing any judgments or advices is essential for the parents to connect with their teens. When your teenager tries to talk, it is important for you to listen to it without interrupting, mocking, advising, criticizing or judging to an extent. Your teenager expects you to understand and value his or her words, so try to focus and maintain an eye contact while they are talking. If you are busy doing chores while your teenager speaks to you, he or she may feel that they are less important to you.
- Expect a negative response when you attempt to connect with your teenager. You may often find that your attempts to connect with the kid are replied with negative responses or irritation. Allow your teen to get rid of the anger by staying relaxed. Try talking to your teenager when you both are at peace. It will effort and time to connect with your kid. However, do not feel anguish, as all your efforts will be fruitful.
Parenting Tips to Help Teens Tip #2: Make Healthy Lifestyle Changes
The following tips can help in creating some balance in the life of your teenager even after their problems are diagnosed:
- Building a disciplined structure is the first step towards creating a healthy lifestyle for teens. Teenagers may tend to argue, scream or rebel against the disciplined structure but that does not mean that they do not have to follow. Structure such as eating regular meals and going to bed on time can help a teenager in feeling safe as well as secure. Sitting for meals together, can be a great way to connect with the kid and check in with their daily work.
- By cutting down the allotted screen time you parents will be able to initiate a positive and non addictive lifestyle for their teenagers. TV shows, music videos, movies, contents on the internet, video games has a direct impact on the violent behavior is teenagers. Even if your kid is not drawn to the contents that are violent, it can have an impact on the development on the brain. Limit the time allotted for your kids to watch television and access the mobile phones. Restrict using cell phones at night so that your child is able to sleep well.
- Parents can encourage their teenagers to do regular exercise and that will bring in a great shift in lifestyle. Even when your teenager tends to exercise for a little time, it can help in boosting energy, relieving depression and stress as well as regulating sleep patterns. You can encourage your kids to play games that will boost the mind in an outstanding way. Once involving in a physical activity becomes a habit, you can ask your teenager to join sports club.
- Parents can create a healthy lifestyle by preparing healthy meals for their children. Healthy eating can assist in stabilizing the energy and sharpen the teenagers mind. Even when the mood is not right, eating healthy meals can be of great help. Become a role model. Cook fresh meals made from fresh fruits and vegetables so that your teenager can eat healthy.
- Parents should make sure that the teenager sleeps enough. When a teenager is sleep deprived, it can make him or her feel moody, stressed, lethargic and irritable at times. It can also lead to various problems with weight management, concentration, memory and affect the decision making skills as well. You may be able to function well even if you sleep for six hours but your teenager may not. So, encourage your teenager to sleep adequately so that the mind stays sharp. Set consistent bedtimes and remove electronic gadgets, televisions and computers from your kid's room. The light rays from the television screen suppress the production of melatonin and arouses the mind instead of relaxing it. Suggest your kid to listen to audio books and music while sleeping.
Despite the pain and suffering that your teen is experiencing right now, be sure to remind him or her that it will end with your support and love. This will help your kid in overcoming the issues of teenage and grow into a matured, successful and happy youngster.